


Furiosa

by Roshwen



Series: I'll hold your fear (and you as well) [2]
Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Because Come On TNT You Do Not Have A Full Head Of Hair After Brain Surgery, Cassandra needs a hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag: s03e08 And the Eternal Question, Gen, It's A Good Thing Ezekiel Is Here To Give Her One, Multi, Surgery Aftermath, That's not how it works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 11:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12703881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roshwen/pseuds/Roshwen
Summary: As soon as the nurse has unwrapped the bandages around her head to check on the incision, Cassandra remembers theotherreason she refused the surgery in the first place. You know, beside the fear of becoming a vegetable or losing the way her mind works when she needs to solve a mathemagical puzzle.And it’s a stupid reason, a shallow and vain and incredibly silly reason, but still.





	Furiosa

**Author's Note:**

> As you can probably see from the tags, I felt more than a bit cheated by Cassandra's full head of hair after the surgery. Thankfully, I'm a fanfiction author and I can fix that. Enjoy!

As soon as the nurse unwraps the bandages around her head to check on the incision, Cassandra remembers the _other_ reason she refused the surgery in the first place. You know, beside the fear of becoming a vegetable or losing the way her mind works when she needs to solve a mathemagical puzzle.

And it’s a stupid reason, a shallow and vain and incredibly silly reason, but still. As the nurse cleans up the stitches and comments on how it looks good, there’s no sign of inflammation and they’re going to leave the bandages off now for a while to give the wound a chance to dry and heal more naturally, Cassandra can only stare at her reflection in the window and try not to scream.

For some reason, in the chaos of last night’s celebration and everybody’s overwhelming relief that she was still alive, she had forgotten. Hadn’t even _noticed_.

She had been too busy worrying about whether she still had her gift that she hadn’t noticed her hair was gone.

Her hair is gone and all that’s left is a thin layer of red fuzz, with a shiny bald patch around the place where they cut her open to remove the tumor. It looks like that girl from when Ezekiel made them all watch Les Miserables, the one who sang about her dreams being killed by life and Cassandra hates it.

She had _really_ hoped that ten years ago, when she was on chemo, would be the last time she would ever look like this. Would be the last time she looked this vulnerable. This _sick_. She feels tears stinging in her eyes and scrunches them shut, blocking out her reflection in the window, the tv screen, even the little metal cabinet at the foot of her bed although her reflection in there is so distorted that it’s more like a pale pink blob with an orange halo on top.

When the nurse is finally done, she doesn’t ask if Cassandra is okay. She just tells her that if there’s anything she needs, she only has to press the big red button next to her bed and then leaves the room without any more fuss, for which Cassandra is grateful. At least now she can sink back down on to the pillow and stare at the ceiling while she tries to come to grips with the way she looks now.

An hour later she is still reeling when Ezekiel bounces into the room, dark circles under his eyes but a grin on his face, and says exactly the wrong thing. ‘Goodmorning princess… wow. _Loving_ the buzz cut!’

Cassandra can only look at him for a moment before she bursts into tears.

She barely hears Ezekiel mutter ‘shit’ before his arms are around her and she collapses against his chest, crying in a way she hasn’t let herself in years.

She also doesn't hear the frantic murmurs of _shhh_ and _it’s okay_ and _hey now princess, it’s okay, I’ve got you, you’re okay_. She doesn’t feel how one of Ezekiel’s hands is stroking a soothing path up and down her back while the other is cradling the back of her head, or how he is holding her a little tighter against him than strictly necessary. None of that registers because he is too busy trying not to drown now that all the terror and doubt and grief of the past two weeks is bursting through the surface in a flood of truly biblical proportions. Everything she ruthlessly shoved down, from the moment that _sooner than I’d like but not yet_ became _very soon¸_ is now coming out in a heaving, sobbing mess of snot and tears _._

Yeah, it’s no longer about the hair.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been crying but when everything slows down at last and breathing is getting easier again, Ezekiel is still there. Bit by bit, she calms down enough to finally let herself be comforted by the soothing nonsense he whispers into her ear, the way he caresses the back of her head with his thumb. He is standing between her and the door as if he can physically shield her from harm and Cassandra clings to him for dear life because right now, he’s the only thing standing between her and the rest of the world. She _cannot deal_ with the rest of the world right now.

Eventually her breathing evens out and she lets herself go limp against him, still wiping away the occasional tear because once a dam breaks, there is no stopping the water no matter how hard you try. Ezekiel presses a kiss to her temple and murmurs: ‘You back with me, princess?’

Cassandra nods. Peeling her face free from Ezekiel’s shirt, which is now so wet it’s almost see-through, she mumbles: ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…’

‘It’s okay,’ Ezekiel says, looking down at her with a soft smile that she’s never seen before. ‘I never liked this shirt anyway.’

Cassandra lets out a hiccupping laugh that ends on another sob, so she buries her face against Ezekiel’s shoulder again until she is certain that the storm has passed completely.

When it has, she draws back a little, dries the last of her tears with the Kleenex Ezekiel hands her, and quietly says: ‘Thank you.’

Ezekiel doesn’t reply, just smiles that soft smile again as he holds up the garbage bin so she can throw in the tissue.

It’s then that Cassandra notices a distinctive porcupine shaped shadow through the frosted window into the hallway. There’s also a big burly shadow and two slim ones, so she turns to Ezekiel again. ‘The others are here too?’

‘Yeah,’ Ezekiel says as he sits himself down on the bed next to her so he can wrap an arm around her shoulder. Cassandra leans in gratefully. By now, she has reached that calmness that always comes after crying your eyes out and she nestles herself against Ezekiel with a soft sigh as he says: ‘I told Stone to kick everybody out as soon as the waterworks started up. Figured you didn’t need an audience.’

He’s right and she didn’t. ‘Thank you,’ she whispers again, smiling as Ezekiel kisses the top of her head in response.

‘I can let them in now, if you want?’ he asks and Cassandra nods. When Ezekiel gets up to open the door, she is left off balance for a moment but not for long. Because then Jake is there, wrapping her up in a hug that pushes all the air out of her lungs and telling her to never _ever_ scare him like that again. He said the same thing last night and so Cassandra smiles and makes a promise they both know she probably can’t keep. They both know she’ll try, at least, and that has to be enough for now.

Then Eve and Flynn are there with more hugs. Eve even brought Cassandra her favorite coffee, the caramel mocha latte with an extra shot of espresso she always gets when she and Eve go for a coffee date together. It’s tepid by now, but after the hospital breakfast (which Cassandra barely touched) it still tastes like absolute heaven.

Jenkins keeps his distance because he’s Jenkins, but he smiles at her and tells her he’s glad to see her in such good spirits and that he has no doubt she’ll be back at the Annex in no time. Which Cassandra assumes is the Jenkins version of a hug.

And all the time Ezekiel is hovering at the back of the room, watching everyone descend on her with a cheerful grin. As soon as she gets tired and starts sagging against Jake, however, he steps up and tells everybody except Stone to get lost again because the princess needs her beauty sleep.

When Eve, Flynn and Jenkins have left the room, Jake pulls her close again and starts rubbing the fuzz on her head with the stubble that’s covering his cheeks, making Cassandra giggle into his shirt as he says: ‘Hey, how about that. We’re matching now.’

Then he presses one last kiss to her temple and hands her over to Ezekiel, who starts stroking her head like she’s a cat and tells her that for what it’s worth, he is _really_ digging the Furiosa look. When Cassandra tells him she thinks it’s more Fantine than Furiosa, he scoffs and Jake says that they’ve seen her stand up against ancient mass murdering ghosts, an actual devil, Prospero, frost giants and an evil magician and now she’s here, still alive after a surgery she had a whopping 25% chance of surviving and even less of making a full recovery.

‘ _Definitely_ a warrior queen,’ Ezekiel says and the pride in his voice makes Cassandra well up all over again.

‘I thought I was a princess,’ she says, aiming for light and almost hitting the mark.

‘Yeah well, you’ve been promoted,’ Ezekiel says before he releases her. ‘Get some sleep, Furiosa. Jenkins is setting up a door to your room as we speak, so we’ll be right there when you need us.’

Cassandra is too tired to do more than nod. As Ezekiel and Jake start to walk away, she lies back down and is out like a light before the door clicks shut.


End file.
